Last Wednesday night Dave Bindewald from the Center for Play and Exploration and I did a webinar about starving fear and feeding curiosity. As human beings, we are fearful when there is uncertainty and unknown outcomes. We live with the unknown all the time, but when a situation appears life-threatening, fear can gain a stronghold (like right now with COVID-19).
When our fear gets strong, it forces itself into the driver’s seat which is no place for fear to be (because then we don’t go anywhere!). We also need to keep in mind that fear is going to hang around whether we like it or not, so it still needs a seat in the car. However, if we approach fear with curiosity, we can move fear to the furthest seat in the back of an early 1990s station wagon (remember those, with the rear facing seats and faux wood panels? Nostalgia.) so it’s not determining where we’re headed.
Fear is real, we’re not discounting it at all. However, we have reactions like flight, fight or freeze, which are often unhelpful when searching for creative solutions to problems. When we take courage and explore the fear, poking it with a stick and being curious about what it has to tell us, we can learn so much about ourselves and our assumptions. Being curious about fear isn’t something we normally talk about, but it’s so helpful. We can ask our fear questions such as:
· What is my real fear? Am I afraid for my life, my reputation, my money, etc.?
· What’s the worst thing that could happen if this fear is accurate?
· What is true and encouraging alongside the fear?
· What is fear stopping me from doing or accomplishing that I really want to do?
Often, the more curious we are about fear, the further back in the car it goes! Stay curious friends!
At Dream Big Coaching LLC, we’re curious about how you’re putting fear in the back seat and accomplishing your goals. Send us an email or comment with your curiosity success story!