I met with my coach this morning and we talked about the fear monster and how as coaches, we can help people move to a place of freedom. But our clients have to be willing to go through the pain of change first. This pain can seem as daunting and destructive as walking on fire…and not many people want to do that immediately, sometimes even us coaches!
The fear of failure shows up in lots of creative ways, sometimes specifically through an “I must do this myself” attitude…
No one will do this task as good as I will.
If I want it done right, I must do it myself.
No one can help me, I must do this alone.
I should be able to do all the things, all the time.
The crazy inner narrative goes on and on. The crazy narrative keeps us small and trapped in a self-reliant cycle that only harms.
Fear is false evidence appearing real. With the fear of failure, at some point we internalized that failure is bad and should be avoided at all costs. When we’re learning something new (like riding a bike, running a business, or leading a non-profit), there will always be mistakes because we’re doing or trying something new! It’s how we frame these mistakes that allow us to thrive forward or keep us stuck.
And this is where the outside help comes in…we flourish best when we have others supporting us in our journey (like a coach!). They support us in looking at our fear, asking us “Why this? Why that? What does that mean to you?” over and over again until we get to the root of our fear. When we uncover the deep inner narrative that is holding us back, we can move forward in reframing and redefining our fear.
Stay curious friends!
Don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you find yourself needing an outside perspective to help you look at your fear or get unstuck! We’d love to talk with you. Seriously. No strings attached.