We’re continuing the conversation about fear this week. And I’ll reiterate…the fear monster keeps us stuck. When the pain of staying the same is more than the pain of change…yep! You guessed it, we change. And part of navigating the change is identifying the fears that keep us trapped.
While I was on vacation in July, I did some fear work. I knew I was holding myself back and was confused as to why that was happening. I started writing down all the stuff that I was hearing in my head, like a stream of consciousness brain dump. Wow, was it revealing. There were several things that were in direct opposition to growing my business, one of which was my avoidance of responsibility.
In 2015, my spouse and I sold our home and moved into a rental. We sold the house because we didn’t like it and didn’t want to dedicate the time and money to maintaining it. We didn’t want the responsibility. Fast forward five years and that narrative of not wanting the house responsibility had morphed into not wanting any responsibility at all. Well crap on a cracker. No wonder I wasn’t enthusiastic about the activity my coach and I were discussing…it would lead to lots of responsibility and I didn’t want that.
I did some additional journaling to explore what else might be there, and then had a conversation with my spouse about this resistance. I felt like I needed to voice what was holding me back and how I wanted to change things moving forward. I also wanted to see if he was willing to partner with me, if he would do a couple more things around our house, and if he would mind me being busier than I already was. Surprise, he was on board if it would make me happy.
Since this discovery and conversation with my spouse, I’ve been working differently in my business and giving myself incremental increases in responsibility. But I wouldn’t have been able to move forward with my dreams if I hadn’t identified what head trash was in direct opposition to them.
Your challenge: if you’re struggling with a fear, lack of motivation, or a general sense that you’re not 100% in with your work, do a brain dump. Take a notebook or journal and write down all the negative things you think about yourself and your life. Poke them. Get curious about them. Ask, what’s the narrative underneath them? When did they show up? What am I telling myself that wants to stay hidden but needs to come into the light for me to succeed?
Stay curious friends!